Ponies: To Be Or Not To Be

Every kid wants a pony. We waited anxiously each birthday to see if that was the birthday, and every year, we just experienced defeat and disappointment because we knew that the only pony we will ever touch is those grumpy "please kill me" ponies at the fair. Man, those little things are pissy. So much anger in such a small horse.

Okay, I shouldn't say that every kid wants a pony. I didn't exactly want a pony as a kid (though it would have been freakin' awesome); I wanted to be a pony. And no, not in the dirty sense because I was too young for my perverted sexy imagination to have developed. I would only eat my vegetables if I were able to pretend to eat them as a pony. I'm sure my mother went along with it because I would eat my vegetables for the sake of being a pony. My mother was smart; she played my weirdness like a champ. A couple of decades later, I see what she did there. Touché, Mother.

Yeah, I know. That post about weirdness is making sense now, huh?

I'm pretty sure that the general public thought I was a crazy little kid when they saw me prancing around like a pony, yelling neigh or something... or whatever I thought that ponies did when I was at that age.

(By the way, guys. I've been pretty frustrated that I've had to draw all of my pictures on my iPhone. If you guys know of a program that's not Gimp so I can draw crappy pictures on a bigger screen, please tell me. Another requirement is that I don't want to pay a lot of money for it. Never mind, I found one. Most five-year olds would be jealous.)

Really think about it, though. I was on to something when I was a kid. Now that I'm an actual professional equestrian, I know what I could get away with if I were an actual pony without getting deemed crazy/weird:

- Rolling in mud

- Eating dirt

- Being fat

- Being lazy

- Neighing for no reason

- Galloping in a field

- Spacing out

- Falling asleep standing up

- Drooling

- Spooking at shadows

- Eating flowers

The list goes on. It would be pretty awesome. But, I didn't become a pony. I didn't even get a pony as a kid; I went with a full horse. 

Actually, I fear that my horse was dropped while he was being born and that's why he's so weird... but that story is for a different day.