The Non Fair-Weather Rider

I hate cold weather, and by cold weather, I mean that I hate anything that's below 85 degrees. I shiver too much and I'm miserable. So, when it comes to winter riding, I definitely have to put my big girl bibs on and ride my bike anyway. Apparently I'm not smart enough to be a fair-weather rider.

Most people have the sense to ride the trainer. I feel that the trainer sucks the soul and happiness out of you, so I avoid it, even if it means that I have to ride in the rain. I'll ride in a storm (unless it's a really bad one), I'll ride in wind, I'll ride in heavy rain or freezing temperatures. The only time I won't ride is if the wind is going 80mph or if there is thunder and lightning.

I know that when I ride in the rain, it's going to be miserable. One of my cunning plans was to pre-soak myself. If I was going to get wet, I'm just going to beat the rain to it. So I grabbed the hose and hosed myself down.

It back-fired, because the weather man lied to me. I was just soaked and cold. It was windy and cloudy, but it never rained. Fuck you, weather man.

That taught me a lesson on trying to outsmart Mother Nature. I then got a rain jacket. California doesn't give me much of a chance to use it, however, so I always end up misplacing it and not wearing it for the first couple of rainy rides. That also sucks, because I end up looking like a wet rat.

Actually, I think I end up looking like this guy:

At some point, I realize that I'll never be happy in cold and/or rainy weather, so I might as well make the best of it. If I keep saying that I love to ride in crappy weather, I'll eventually believe it, right? It worked for climbing (I always remember my friend, George, saying, "I love to climb!") so it should also work for crappy weather. One of the problems in crappy weather, however, is that the wind tends to blow me around everywhere. That's slightly terrifying. Another problem? People cannot, for the life of them, drive in bad weather. Seriously, Californians. What the fuck is your problem!? So, I'm afraid for my life. I'm already afraid for my life in great weather when I ride on the road by myself, add the poor weather to it and I'm pretty much asking for my death. Clearly, death doesn't stop me from riding my bike. Genius. 

After the ride, I'm cranky and squishy. Have you ever ridden in pouring rain for a few hours? You get squishy, you gain 23 pounds, and you're so cold that you start stripping in the garage because those clothes are making your life miserable. Why would we do this? Are we really this stupid? We don't actually love a hobby that much to suffer through this crap, right?

We run to the shower and make it as hot as possible, and in the shower (since we know that that's where we do most of our meaningful thinking) we say that we'll never do a stupid ride like this ever again... except that when we get out, we start getting our kit and bike ready for the next day, because as shitty as it was, we always have a good time on our bike.