When The Glass Breaks

You see it happen so often. People separate, find a different group, stop talking to each other, or avoid each other because they don't want to talk things out. Many people think that if they ignore it for the right amount of time, things will go back to the way they were. People don't realize how horribly incorrect they are. Things don't simply "go back." Once something is damaged, such as a friendship, it needs repair.

There are reasons why people won't talk things over:
1) They're too chicken shit and don't know how to approach the problem
2) They don't care and don't want to approach the problem
3) They actually want to move away from the friendship

In my case, if I don't talk things over with most people, it means that I don't want to be a friend to that person, or at least not be as close as I was to said individual. Talking things over takes a lot of work and time. There are some cases in which I no longer have the interest or patience to take the time to talk things over. In other words, it's no longer worth it; the friendship has been too damaged.

Keep in mind that I usually care enough to talk things over. I usually care enough to take the time to make things work. However, I have a limit. Once that limit is reached and abused, it's game over.

The biggest problem is that people don't realize that once something is too damaged, it won't be reparable. There's a tipping point, a point where a mere ice cube will make the water spill if you take the wrong step. After that, every ice cube you add will spill more and more water. A person eventually gets tired of cleaning up the spills. That's the point of no return. That's the point where you either stop putting ice cubes so the water stops spilling, therefore walking away from the problem, or having a giant spill, potentially breaking the glass. Slow evaporation or catastrophic breakage, those seem to be the most common choices. It's too late to apologize at that point. You've gone and fucked up.

There's a pattern. People who used to talk to you on a nearly daily basis start hanging out with other people and make it a point for you to find out. It's as if they're saying, "Hey look, I've replaced you! What'cha gonna do about it?" This is a lot easier to do now with social media. Some people get really hurt feelings. I tend to be a mix of points 2 and 3 mentioned above. We're no longer in grade school. If we're going to deal with a problem, it's going to be dealt with, and not in a "haha look at how replaceable you are!" Because seriously? Fuck you.

The pattern is extremely damaging. Here you are, being all loyal and shit to people. If your friends don't like an organization or they get fucked over by one, you riot! You get angry! Okay, maybe you don't riot, but you're loyal enough to your friends to no longer support whatever or whomever fucked them over. It's an unfortunate thing that 98% of people I've met and have said that they're my "good friends" don't reciprocate that. I'm finding myself getting more and more fed up with that, too, and I'm not tolerating it. If you expect me to be loyal, you better not be fucking around. Tango is a two-way dance.

I'm definitely noticing that I'm less tolerant of things. I don't have to be uncomfortable, I don't have to deal with things that make me feel unwanted, unappreciated, or less than ideal. So, fuck it. Here's a shape... within a shape within a shape.