Many people take a long time to find something they love. A passion. I never realized how hard it was to find a passion because I was lucky enough to find one when I was 13-years old, the age I started to ride horses. At 14-years old, I stumbled upon the love of my life. Did I know it at the time? No. Like many say, "It just happened."
I had been hunting for a horse for months. After seeing many horses and none of them being a good fit, I was getting disappointed. On Christmas day of 2000, I decided to check out the Equestrian Connection (I still have the magazine!). I saw an ad that simply said, "Six year old gelding. 15.1 hand, grey, very gentle. Would make good kids horse. $1500/obo. Others available." My dad called that Christmas morning, guy said, "Well, we're not doing anything. Come over." They were located in Bangor, CA, about 2-1/2 hours away from Sacramento. Since my family and I celebrate Christmas eve, my parents decided that it would be okay to take the drive over to see this horse. Why? I'm not sure, but we went to go see him.
When we got there, they had a huge 20 acre pasture filled with beautiful Arabian horses. We kept looking at which horse was the 6-year old gelding I was there for. More and more horses came by to greet us, all very pretty. I was getting excited! We stepped into the arena and saw a little bay mare. Ummm? Then, I saw him. I swear he had to be the ugliest thing on the property. He came over to greet us with the derpiest of derp faces I've ever seen in my life. He looked red because he had rolled in the arena, which had red dirt in it. Oh man. Are you kidding me? Nope. That was him. Mac.
I didn't even ride him. But for some reason, we got him. We went back to their house and I signed the papers. My first "big purchase" as a 14-year old. I was freaking the hell out.
We picked him up on the 28th. He wouldn't get in the trailer. Crap. So it starts now, huh? We eventually got him in and we went back to the barn... and he freaked. Which made me freak. I just made the biggest mistake of my life!!! He heard a helicopter, he freaked. He saw the pig, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!?!?" It was pretty much a disaster.
I put him in the arena and he rolled. And rolled. Then he rolled some more. I longed him and the dumbass fell. Great. I gave him a week to get used to the place. After the week was over, I put a saddle on him and the first thing he did was take off and buck. Awesome. A friend who was more experienced than me rode him first, and besides a few spooks, he was fine. I got on him and survived my first ride.
I was at the barn every day after school. The more I rode him, the more comfortable I was with him. A lot of girls get a very nice, bomb proof first horse when they're young. They fall in love with it, show him, ride him, then sell him to another young girl who will repeat the process. Their horses become that first crush and for many their first love. Not me. I hated that asshole of a horse I got.
He ran me over, kicked me, bit me, bucked me off at least once a week, took off on the trails, went back to the barn once without me (thank the gods he didn't get hit when he crossed Auburn-Folsom Rd!), stole my food, stole tools, broke 4 halters in the span of a week, bit me more, pulled in the trailer (he has scars from that day), and so on. I absolutely hated that jerk. It got to the point where I actually had to have a stud chain and a whip with me to control the damn thing. The first year of owning him was hell. While I loved to go to the barn, the shit-head wouldn't let me catch him. It actually took me an hour and a half once to catch the ass because he kept running away and riling up the other horses in the pasture. He made me cry so many times that year that I lost count. In fact, I lost count of how many times he bucked me off because it was getting depressing. I wanted that horse gone. Shot, dog food, glue, a purse. I didn't care. I hated him. Our first show was an absolute disaster and after lots of tears and almost getting killed by him, I was able to go into a couple of classes and survived. That was that.
I'm not sure what happened, but after 18 months of owning asshole-horse, something clicked. It was as if it was overnight. He bucked, I stayed on. He ran me over, I disciplined him and he listened. I was able to catch him in under 10 minutes. I took him on the trail and I stayed on. I even went on a show and got the Championship due to all the classes we were placing and winning in. What the hell happened?
We kept winning, we kept succeeding, and we kept improving. Our relationship was getting to be amazing. I'd go to the barn, he'd greet me at the gate. He no longer bit, kicked, or ran off from me. He'd load into the trailer just fine. We were becoming true partners... best friends.
A few went by and many people told me that I would eventually sell him. It happens to everyone's first horse. They give you the miles they were meant to give you and then they get sold to do the same to another person. That didn't happen. I got plenty of outstanding offers for him, especially once he started Dressage and jumping. A 3rd level Dressage horse that can jump 3'3" and is safe for kids and looks good? Hell yeah! People were all over that. But I wasn't all over their offers, even if they were more than generous. He was my buddy and I loved him to death.
More time went by. I was absolutely in love with that horse, and he had the same attachment to me. I'd go on vacation and the people who'd be horse-sitting him told me that he wouldn't eat. The little shit missed me! I'd go back to visit him after my vacations and he'd start whinnying and bucking to the gate. Those moments told me that we'd be best friends for life.
He's done a lot for me. He went from being the "fucker horse" that I absolutely hated to being the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know how many of my relationships with boys that horse ruined because when the boys would say, "It's me or the horse" (or a variation of that) I'd respond with, "The horse." And why wouldn't I choose him? This horse has been the only one that has been there for me no matter how hard times were. Any time I needed to cry, he'd have that neck around me while I sobbed into his shoulder. Any time I was happy, I'd go over and we'd have a fantastic trail ride. No matter the occasion, he made it 100 times better.
On July 2 of 2011, he went lame after a limited distance ride. He hasn't recovered since then and I recently made the choice of retiring him from any competition. If he recovers from his injury (torn suspensory), he'll only be doing fun trail rides and easy rides. His competitive years are over. He's my buddy. I owe it to him to keep him happy for the rest of his life.
This horse has taught me so much in the 12 years that I've owned him. He's taught me what never giving up is and what persistence and dedication are. He's taught me the meaning of hard work, compassion, heart break, victory, failure, patience, disappointment, commitment, loss, friendship, and what unconditional love is. I don't think that I would have learned what any of those things were without him. He taught me that in any relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work to make it last. That's exactly what we did.
Today, January 25th, marks Mac's 18th birthday. I bought him when he was a month shy of being a 7-year old. He's taken me through countless show and endurance miles. He's taught me that I can love and trust. He's never pushed me away when I needed someone the most; he's always had that big neck around me when I'm feeling as if nothing could lift my spirits up and he's there when I want to celebrate a victory. He's never failed to be the best friend I could ever ask for, he's never turned his back on me, and he has showed more love than I could ever imagine seeing. He's my best friend.
12 years together and it's been a blast. I'm looking forward to many more. My future right now is going in so many different directions and while I'm scared senseless about where it's going and how I'm going to go through with it all, I can trust that Mac will be there for me, waiting for me if he can't move with me, and will be happy to see me when I return.
Here's to my best friend, my partner in crime, and the love of my life; MCA Hi Impression.
