Things That Are Not Okay 2

Some people asked me to do another "Things That Are Not Okay." Here's the first one if you missed it. Maybe my pet peeves amuse people. Who knows? Like I said, everyone is amused by the short, angry person.

1) The phrase "Like a boss." 
If, for whatever reason, you use this phrase, you need to stop. You need to stop right now. Do you know how annoying it is to hear someone say, "OMG YOU JUST WON. LIKE A BOSS!!!" No, no I don't know what it's like to win like a boss. You know why? Because I'm not a fucking boss. Go play video games or get a job if you want a boss.

2) Using the word "retard" to mean that something is stupid.
You're a terrible person if you do this. As a person who works with children with Autism, I hate it when people use this word as if it didn't hurt anyone. Have you ever seen how devastated a child looks when they get made fun of this way? Or when they hear that word used like it's nothing? It's terrible, and it's heartbreaking. So don't do it. And if you do it, quit it. This behavior makes you, sir or madam, and ass.

He's angry because you're an ass.

3) "BAMF."
Just... fuck you.

4) People telling me to "HTFU." Go "STFU," assholes.
I've accomplished a lot in my young life, and I have big plans. I'll be accomplishing a lot more, whether it's academically, athletically, or in the work force. It is not appreciated when people tell me to "harden the fuck up" when I've gone through a lot more and have accomplished a lot in my life. However, anyone who has trumped my accomplishments and who trains in storms, has ridden/raced (bikes and horses) in snow, etc. is more than welcome to tell me to "HTFU." Others will simply get a "STFU."

5) People who constantly ridicule others.
I don't care whether it's weight, height, race, face shape, sexual preference, etc. Quit making fun of people just to make yourselves feel better. I constantly hear people make fun of others because they're too heavy, or too tan (there's a fine line with this one, though), or too blonde. I get that we all make jokes. I make them all of the time, especially about me. But making jokes just to be malicious and to ridicule others is not okay. Whether it's at a gym, store, parking lot. I don't care. Stop trying to make your pathetic self feel better. And yes, you're pathetic if you make fun of someone just to be mean. Don't make fun of people's diets, don't make fun of their appearance, don't make fun of their weight. Maybe that girl is happy to be a size 10. Fucking leave. Her. Alone. It's not going to affect you in any way, so stop.

6) Stupid gym people.
We understand you want that hot bod, or that you want to be awesome... or something. However, please stop dropping the weights after you do your 250-pound dead lift. If you have to drop the damn weights, then you shouldn't be lifting that weight. Also, quit hogging the mirror. I like looking at that sexy motherfucker staring back at me in the mirror just as much as the next person, but you don't need to flex in front of the mirror for 15 minutes. I promise you didn't lose any muscle tone between sets.

Be nice enough to wipe the machines, I don't want your nasty human juices all over me. It's gross. If you're going to be texting on the only curl machine available, at least get off of it so the person patiently waiting to do their workout can play, too. It's not that hard to be considerate. Oh, and meat heads, stop fighting at the gym. You accomplish nothing except provide entertainment for those of us slowly dying of boredom on the cardio machines.

Actually, never mind, keep fighting.

7) The misuse of "epic."
No, as much as you would like to think so, not everything you do is epic. DisneyLand isn't epic, that movie wasn't epic, eating dirt isn't either. Not much is actually epic. Going across the country on your bike kind of is, finishing the Tevis cup is extremely epic (top ten is the epic of epic), breaking away in a bike race and winning is pretty epic, skydiving, bungee jumping, saving a kitten in a flash flood... that stuff. Quit misusing "epic," for fuck's sake. It makes you sound like you live under a rock when you say that a certain movie was epic. It wasn't.

8) Moths.
UGH.

9) Peacocking on a group ride.
I get that you want to show off how super-awesome-and-super-strong-and-holy-shit-look-I-can-sprint. And I get that you want to assert yourself in a group because, hey, you're super awesome, right? Well you're not. You're just a a douche who doesn't know when and where to peacock. If you're going to peacock and if you want to assert yourself, do it at a race. Win the sprint, win a few primes, break away... at a race. A casual group ride is not the place to peacock. You basically just made yourself look like a tool. Nobody likes a tool. And yes, you are the topic of negative conversation, whether you hear it or not and whether you want to believe it or not. Tools...

Actually, I think people who try to peacock a casual ride look more like ginny fowl; ugly, loud, and annoying as all hell.



Yup... that's you. You're that annoying.


10) Cold weather.
Stop :(


Welp, once again I'm not really sure how to cleverly end a post like this, so I'll just give you this:

Hell yeah, that's a fucking octagon. It's dedicated to my buddy, Mark.